tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54730092011-07-31T10:30:41.307+01:00why i'm singing..nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.comBlogger3841100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-14306498787436620202009-11-29T18:51:00.001Z2009-11-29T18:51:23.750Z

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-58049344926239790652009-11-29T18:47:00.001Z2009-11-29T18:47:28.561Z

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-76006689309968843102009-11-16T11:23:00.001Z2009-11-16T11:23:37.584Z

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-46734665446402111902009-01-22T14:13:00.003Z2009-11-10T10:27:50.576Z

well blogger, its been lovely, but.... http://onlygotone.wordpress.com/maya has moved.....please come with me! -- i repeat: i am no longer blogging here, but at wordpress.............. -------------end-

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-62558562463904908822009-01-22T08:26:00.002Z2009-11-10T10:28:23.631Z

-----------

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-66823693367074725932009-01-22T08:26:00.000Z2009-11-10T10:26:42.164Z

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-79151996888461160042009-01-21T13:47:00.001Z2009-01-21T13:47:02.709Z

i have found the visual aid to an earlier post....for your reference, the post in question...  et voila..... 

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-88107332322482186902009-01-21T13:31:00.001Z2009-01-21T13:31:26.159Z

this is my friend today .....as i am off sick....my ears feel well thoughat the risk of peddling... i still have two more invites....fastest fingers first....

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-90540096467775557452009-01-21T12:29:00.001Z2009-01-21T12:29:25.361Z

look at these...if there's one thing i love, its watching people's facing while they think of an answer to a tricky question  ...

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-168397999989352672009-01-15T09:40:00.001Z2009-01-15T09:40:43.783Z

today is sixth months since the worst day   there have been times, in the early months, when i thought 'gracious, one day it will be six months since it happened. that will be wierd. but not as wierd as when it will be one year'   and today it is six months.   i am not dwelling or mulling or feeling sad (yet! ha) but i just thought it deserved a small mention.   it is rainy today

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-35456078140307908272009-01-13T21:20:00.002Z2009-01-13T21:34:04.047Z

i'm not going to pretend i know why the sky is orange in this song....but i really believe you should listen to it. it is called -orange sky- by alexi murdochwell i had a dream i stood beneath an orange skyyes i had a dream i stood beneath an orange skywith my brother standing bywith my brother standing bysaid brother you know, you know,its a long road we've been walking onbrother you know it is,

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-90862110909984688072009-01-12T23:22:00.001Z2009-01-12T23:22:55.411Z

...i have these moments of utter bewilderment and incomprehension asto how you simply are no longer here.you are nowhere. You havevanished. It is not magic. It is shit.

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-75939274730138280792009-01-10T23:26:00.003Z2009-01-12T19:06:16.823Z

is the name of surely one of the greatest albums of the 1990s....you got the brilliant picture on the cover, of the crazy lady in the floral swimming cap....you got the band members sitting in some fields among some disinterested cows on the inlay...and you have she's so high, there's no other way, etc etc for your listening pleasureit is also a common noun for something which i am finding quite

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-12506483920624805502009-01-08T22:08:00.003Z2009-01-08T22:11:34.286Z

you give good gifts to mei pray that i receive them wellso pass the cup of sufferingand let the oil of joy be pouredi'll say - god is goodgod is goodwe love your purpose, fatherwe want the glory to be yours,so pass the cup of sufferingand let the oil of joy be pouredwe'll say - god is goodgod is goodi do like that song, very much

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-56181032907775395272009-01-06T23:27:00.005Z2009-01-12T19:07:58.268Z

..am thinking that it is about time i began to think about working towards possibly getting re-acquainted with the lord...am missing knowing him and being found in him, learning of and from him.....and missing seeing truth before me and having certainties that i can be certain of. lots of things are about to change in the next wee while, such as me hopefully moving back to bristol in february....

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-85954892999841434422008-12-23T19:15:00.005Z2009-01-12T19:09:35.795Z

i am in my house, with tree and lights, and winter pimms.there are people from our little road outside in the turning area, gathered in coats and hats singing carols and being merry together.people keep asking me how i am, or how i think i am going to be, over these coming days.he was going to be here you see, this christmas. the kids were due to be with their mother for christmas this year so

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-6460881824991227372008-12-14T21:55:00.001Z2008-12-14T21:55:37.888Z

it just won't stop, this evening, lads... out of nowhere, the crying came and now it goes on and on.... its bizarre. it stops for a minute but then its back on. unbelievable

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-49969107534864599582008-12-12T20:47:00.006Z2009-01-12T19:12:29.408Z

so here it is...the following is my smash hits poll winers of 2008, as ever a good three or four weeks before the end of the year, as per the -smash hits- regime...the things i could not have survived this year without:my brother, nicholasmy sister, fionasallycatelinmy phonesubway..chicken..hearty italian bread..foot-long with all the salad and sweet onion sauce..-how to save a life-, the album,

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-42461787321532287572008-12-03T23:50:00.006Z2008-12-04T08:29:59.395Z

i have recently been entertaining ideas about colonel brandoni would like to air them here.a disclaimer to cover and translate and clarify this whole post would be to say that i do not claim to have any immediate need for resolution or even process of this idea - that is to say, there is no man who has induced such thoughts, or sparked this particular bout of musing; these are thoughts that have

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-58042035929463844012008-11-30T22:21:00.000Z2008-11-30T22:22:18.835Z

something tragically oxymoronic about having to put a double duvet cover on by yourself

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-8312915335566779822008-11-27T23:47:00.002Z2008-11-27T23:47:57.104Z

so today i ordered my very own copy of the extra special box set of lovely christmas music by the magnificent sufjan stevens....if you do not have it, you should re-think that....

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-1540520186857586912008-11-24T23:16:00.005Z2008-11-25T07:35:12.064Z

so on the way home from fake london christmas yesterday i was thinking about how it was my worst and best fake christmas ever. i laughed more than i have before, the dinner was the best one we've ever managed and i felt honestly christmassy which was quite a feat given the earliness of it all....but i missed my boy, who at last year's faux noel was a newcomer, and who loved every minute of it...

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-86472995112235124912008-11-21T00:14:00.000Z2008-11-21T00:15:11.703Z

can someone with a brain help me deal with this white-line business....?!

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-76832475407990900012008-11-20T13:00:00.003Z2008-11-20T23:46:01.187Z

so pals i discovered something recently that perturbed me somewhat so i thought i would share...when you are a user of facebook, your information can only be seen by the people you permit it to be seen by, non?unless......you are listed as being part of the facebook platform.if you are listed as being part of the facebook platform, anytime someone googles your name, the results now almost

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-88937673094004645452008-11-18T10:53:00.006Z2008-11-20T23:48:06.197Z

someone writes something that i find so compelling that i feel as though i am in the story, that i am the character, that the memories are mine or that i can hear, see and smell as their own fictional senses do.other times, someone writes something, and i really do know a bit about being in that particular kind of story.http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2008/nov/18/

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-52144516392931938512008-11-18T00:05:00.002Z2008-11-20T23:48:36.522Z

i think today might be the first day that i have not talked about him at all..feels funny

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-39962959587804818222008-11-15T21:50:00.004Z2008-11-20T23:49:16.556Z

so today is four months since the worst day.and this week has been the easiest, clearest, calmest week that i have lived since that day.leona sang this song on x-factor this evening and frankly only served to show just how bloody good the original was...please enjoy the following snow patrol lyrics and instruct itunes to inform your reading if you are lacking -run- in your record collection....i

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-55457127480952837242008-11-15T01:50:00.007Z2008-11-20T23:49:37.296Z

"Now - here is my secretI tell it to you with an openness of heart that I doubt I shall ever acheive again, so I pray that you are in a quiet room as you hear these words. My secret is that I need God - that I am sick and can no longer make it alone. I need God to help me give, because i no longer seem capable of giving; to to help me be kind, as I no longer seem capable fo kindness; to help me

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-84764171686674355642008-11-15T01:27:00.002Z2008-11-20T23:49:58.416Z

i was nine years old in the lordnovember 14thwowsers

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-48890430320229839112008-11-11T23:29:00.005Z2008-11-20T23:50:23.335Z

today on radio four at around mid-morning was a weekly show about 'work' and its varying wide-scale problems and pitfalls. this week's episode particularly focused on sickness and taking time out of work. the presenter exclaimed in his introductory splurge that the average number of sick-days per british employee in a given year is SEVEN, yes that's SEVEN days. he sounded truly horrified.a

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-40572946183449263092008-11-11T23:18:00.003Z2008-11-20T23:50:37.958Z

....if a person was to be planting the very baby-sized seeds of an idea about writing a book that would aim to maybe lessen the culturally-engrained fear of grief, and to attempt to add to the journey of grief in a beneficial way, what would that person call the book? any ideas...?

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-84438299051057788272008-11-10T23:28:00.005Z2008-11-20T23:51:19.009Z

so for the last three years or so, i have had a piece of green card stuck to my bedroom wall...the dream wall, if you will (if you are a maine road ex-resident..).....written on it in my artistic (ha, read illegible!) scrawl is a note-to-self, in black pencil, that reads as follows...rend your heartrisk your heartguard your heartexcept on the card it has a big heart drawn on the right-hand side,

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-34996600953433095182008-11-10T22:05:00.003Z2008-11-20T23:51:46.853Z

i read this on the train this morning...its a bit of a thinker...

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-12536878587552447292008-11-10T21:22:00.002Z2008-11-10T21:36:12.292Z

explain to me why a big old white line has appeared down the length of my blog?!

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-53297568941634659712008-11-10T20:30:00.004Z2008-11-20T23:52:06.293Z

Lately, lately I've seen you in your dreamLost in a clouded mindHeld down by all of the things that seem so realThe world you can't leave behindYou've made all of the money you could spendYou're begging for something moreBehind the prison you call your home my friendsThe light in the endless darkLately, you've followed your fears under the bedAnd fell for a hundred yearsInto the arms of a wounded

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-29554942583382621282008-11-09T21:56:00.001Z2008-11-20T23:52:26.671Z

you're the brightest thing i've got

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-82230117812992580592008-11-05T14:33:00.002Z2008-11-20T23:53:02.806Z

the one about the fish is my favourite...http://uk.news.yahoo.com/blog/editors_corner/article/7847/

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-4214716708030928272008-10-31T22:24:00.003Z2008-11-20T23:54:11.675Z

there was one particular blur song that me and my girls loved, back in 1996, about a man called tracey jacks.....he said 'i'd love to stay here and be normal, but its just so over-rated....' so he jumped naked off a pier and was no longer able to be classed as normalits a funny thing, trying to recover from feeling sadder than i have ever felt...because feeling normal somehow seems to be the goal

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-79219561147392510302008-10-18T00:53:00.005+01:002008-11-20T23:54:59.642Z

hands up if you live in a pink house....?!anyone?!no?!just me then....so tomorrow i am going to be re-claiming, in a big van, all the possessions mentioned in the last post. they shall be relocating to the glos with me, for the next couple of months, until i venture out into the world of bristol-living once more in the new year....i shall have all my shoes, those eyeshadows i'd forgotten i owned,

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-23959270245074418142008-09-17T00:10:00.004+01:002008-11-20T23:55:30.400Z

sorry for swearingit is not an overstatement these days when i say that i don't rightly know where i belong.i am aware of the idea, the notion, the dream of making one's home in jesus himself. john 15 to 17 being my favourite parts of the entire bible, i know that he wants me to join with him..to be with him...to live with him.but my cds are in BS5 and my tired sorry ass is in GL1....my best

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-91730750731952529592008-09-16T21:27:00.002+01:002008-11-20T23:55:58.811Z

i am pissed offi have the bitching mother of all colds, i am sad, i have exams in three weeks today, i am broke, i am tired and i had a fucking panic attack on the bloody trainexcuse my language, but frankly, i am fed bloody up

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-28248658172028791882008-09-15T02:49:00.006+01:002008-11-20T23:57:12.252Z

hola otra vez...i have de-camped to the lounge, as sharing a bed with a healthy sister when you yourself are feeling this unhealthy is not nice for either person - me i can't sleep anyway and she's asleep safe in the knowledge she will almsot certainly wake up ill...!so kids, tomorrow would have been the one-year anniversary of him being my boyfriend and me being his girlfriend....i've never had

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-59418473499342098022008-09-15T02:35:00.003+01:002008-11-20T23:57:41.170Z

that was the WORST blog post i have ever writteni am going to go and at least hold a lit cigarette, then i will write some more.and it will be good.

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-12417330007148679172008-09-15T02:25:00.003+01:002008-11-20T23:58:18.457Z

so i have realised that it must be back to the blog for me once more, as i have too many things in my head and must cyphon some off here...i am awake at two something......for the last week or more this has not been a problem, so it sucks that tonight i am back to being awake. however! it is compounded by the fact that i have a head-cold, which only started today but boy, its a fierce one! now

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-32931469787561626112008-09-09T22:27:00.002+01:002008-11-20T23:59:21.659Z

...are very oddi am having an evening of much-crying...following on from a sudden spurt of crying last night before sleep...i was fine again during work today but this evening i have had to retreat to my folks' house after doing pretty well at staying in my bristol place for the last few days...i just really miss him, to be honest with you..being near him made me happy in a way that being near to

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-54858483782157730692008-08-31T23:52:00.004+01:002008-11-21T00:01:22.074Z

on paper its seven weeks today since the last time i saw him...well, since the last time i saw him when he was still fully him... on paper i am doing ok, i have spent a week-and-a-half back at work, and its going really well. i love my job, it interests and excites me, and to be honest most of the working day, i still find myself thinking -i can't believe i get to do this for a living-on paper i

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-80042346963106447132008-08-29T22:02:00.003+01:002008-08-29T22:38:11.762+01:00

(the first is in reference to the sad lack of whistling that prevails in my current office, in stark contrast to the whistle-fest that was the daily chirp during my days working at the 'tree...) Date: 2008/7/8Subject: Chat with paul2:30 PM paul: warmest regards AH how's it going?   are you really at home? me: dude i'm in work   am trying to overthrown the foreign office  sshhhhhhh 2:31 PM paul:

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-50877359588071192642008-08-29T22:01:00.002+01:002008-08-29T22:38:27.127+01:00

(feeling the ongoing pain with mr haines, who continues to grow a beard in protest at his beloved skate park not having any light or electricity...)Date: Mon, Jun 23, 2008 at 10:37 AMSubject: Chat with john ha10:34 AM me: john......lights???  john: Alas, no.10:35 AM me: nnnnnnoooooooo   wtf  que pasa??  john: We thought they'd be here on Friday but they didn't turn up  me: oh john john:

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-43746282310891719012008-08-29T22:00:00.002+01:002008-08-29T22:38:42.215+01:00

(oh the waiting...)Date: Wed, May 7, 2008 at 1:30 PMSubject: Chat with john ha  me: how's the electricity?   john: I've still got a very large beard! 1:23 PM  john: There's no real change at the park  me: nooooooooooo! not the beard STILL?!   drats  that sucjs   sucks john: I'm getting used to it but I'm not enjoying it  me: no indeed john: It's quite funny, though, when you think about it. 1:24

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-54240386769635440772008-08-29T21:56:00.002+01:002008-08-29T22:38:58.872+01:00

(and again...)Date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 9:48 AMSubject: Chat with john ha9:47 AM john: We turned the floodlights on yesterday!  me: oh my john: We only have half so far but they're very bright!  me: wowsers  so have you shaved??  john: No  can't shave till we get them all  me: oh gracious john: that's the rule  me: that IS the rule though   you're right9:48 AM john: haha  me: stay strong 

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-69788005222498712002008-08-29T21:51:00.001+01:002008-08-29T22:39:11.631+01:00

(livvo finding it a bit tricky to concentrate for those last fifteen minutes of the working-day, i think....)Date: Fri, Apr 18, 2008 at 5:03 PMSubject: Chat with livvo5:03 PM livvo: TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER TROF BURGER

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-37075461491465430402008-08-29T21:45:00.002+01:002008-08-29T22:39:33.093+01:00

(in reference to the up-coming birthday of fran, and the conundrum of what to get for someone who is so gifted and talented that if she wanted something she didn't already have, she'd just make it for herself....) somehow i find mine and cate's the funniest - ed Date: Fri, Mar 28, 2008 at 5:35 PMSubject: Chat with catelin5:31 PM me: dude   i haven't thought of anything! catelin: me either!  me:

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-90372399242260072382008-08-24T16:22:00.005+01:002008-11-21T00:00:28.740Z

'without you here, there is less to say...' points if you can name that tune...i had no idea just how much of my time the boy had monopolised without me realising. people often talk of the emptiness that accompanies mourning. even from 200 miles away, he still took up most of my time. i could just think about him for whole walks to work. i could look at him for hours. we talked for an hour every

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-51357075135105181012008-08-23T23:35:00.001+01:002008-08-23T23:53:45.689+01:00

he tends and spares us, well our feeble frame he knows,in his hands he gently bears us,rescues us from all our foes...amen?a dear friend of mine brought this to my attention this evening...thanking you...xxxx

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-34367620324854896352008-08-20T11:58:00.008+01:002008-08-29T22:41:41.627+01:00

so today i was looking for something in my google archives, and well, i starting reading old google-chats, mostly from lunchtimes during the MT working era, mostly with cate, john h, helen dc, hawkso, and livvo....mostly short, to the point, and in the main, entirely non-essential...en serio, tios, i have been laughing non-stop for the last hour, so i thought i would share some of these certain

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-82309650961255091502008-08-20T11:57:00.003+01:002008-08-29T22:42:03.723+01:00

this one set the tone for the introduction to many a subsequent lunch-hour countdown...good times, livvo, good times... _______________________________________________________Date: Tue, Jan 15, 2008 at 2:59 PMSubject: Chat with livvome: and the countdown to lunchtime is on...._____livvo: yep its been on since 8.45_____me: haha_____me: tick tock tick tockok i'm on lunch now_____livvo: woo hoo me

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-7335219481624075792008-08-20T11:47:00.007+01:002008-08-29T22:42:21.974+01:00

one morning a couple of months back....me, first thing in the morning, before work, onto your friend and mine in japan......this is pre-coffee, remember.... ___________________________________________________Date: Thu, May 8, 2008 at 8:19 AMSubject: Chat with dandan: do you ever leave the house?_____me: hahamorning danielhow are you? what's happening? what do you know?_____dan: what do I know

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-11568066633247987412008-08-20T11:44:00.003+01:002008-08-29T22:43:21.561+01:00

the brokering of news concerning secret-santa wish-lists for fake christmas....yes, the shocker i am, i trafficked news of what one attendee would like, to another.....hey, everyone wins though, right...?! ______________________________________________________________________________ Date: Wed, Dec 12, 2007 at 2.26 PM2007/12/12Subject: Chat with livvolivvo: any word from thornto?_____me: yepthis

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-71708079459406435442008-08-20T11:32:00.010+01:002008-08-29T22:43:39.087+01:00

on the 8-year anniversary of my re-birth in the lord...______________________________________________________________Date: Wed, Nov 14, 2007 at 1:03 PMSubject: Chat with catelinme: cate! i am eight!_____ catelin: i'm not entirely sure what that means... AH!i just got it!!happy eternity!_____me: thanks!! _______________________________________________________________

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-85316338695968300212008-08-20T11:29:00.009+01:002008-08-29T22:43:58.085+01:00

i still mourn this particular day..._____________________________________________________________Date: Tue, Oct 30, 2007 at 1:28 PMSubject: Chat with georgeme: george your blog is dead!!!____________________________________________________________________________

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-33770775794285954952008-08-20T11:19:00.010+01:002008-08-29T22:44:14.589+01:00

the first-half of the following is an honest representation of every conversation i have ever had with john h, trying to organise a beer... __________________________________________________________________________Date: Wed, Sep 26, 2007 at 9:47 AMSubject: Chat with john hame: hi john_____ john: Ahoy_____me: aloha_____john: Bonjour_____me: ciao_____john: Hello_____me: guten tag_____john: I'm

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-79528174753749910352008-08-19T15:55:00.008+01:002008-08-24T08:22:13.031+01:00

i have a real problem: i am too good at arguing. on saturday night at around midnight i walked away from a lengthy and finely-tuned (on my part at least..) debate with a doorman, who had refused to let me and nick smoke our cigarettes in peace....we were leaving the pub, and going somewhere else. as we waited for our friends to exit the building, we smoked. now, we smoked on a certain patch of

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-31773980883882777212008-08-19T14:56:00.004+01:002008-11-21T00:01:48.483Z

my itunes would like to inform you of the 25 most frequently-played songs on my puter over the last few weeks.... i don't know what i can save you from - kings of conveniencesparks - royksoppotherside - breaks co-opshe is - the frayhow to save a life - the frayeyes wider than before - scott matthewsover my head (cable car) - the frayclarity - john mayernot myself - john mayer3x5 - john

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-55096263454981989882008-08-18T11:56:00.004+01:002008-11-21T00:02:19.286Z

so on a day like today, when a man leaves his job as president of one of the most potentially chaotic countries in the world, it throws open the metaphor about the the empty house, and what can sneak into it when you're not looking, when you're off duty, or when something or someone leaves, and the vacuum opens up.... i feel like in the first weeks, the vacuum was full of tears and murky

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-16702636421069813862008-08-18T01:25:00.002+01:002008-11-21T00:02:54.210Z

for me, is not the lack of development in the global fight against aids, or the perpetual lack of political engagement in countries like ours where no-one in living memory has had to fight for the right to vote, nor is it even our government's sincere inability to deal with the most systemic of social problems, it is simply the lack of sleep. in the last five weeks, at such a time as this, i

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-52129960404201117032008-08-12T18:31:00.002+01:002008-11-21T00:03:28.327Z

..on which i currently find myself, seems to be presenting certain doors, unlocked by certain songs... i have recommended some of them to you lately, itunes serving you well as you accompany me....here, for your delight are the lyrics to -redwings- by guillemots...enjoy....This is where we fall from the treesThis is where the sky covers upDaft killers of joy, you made a man out of meAnd this is

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-68439534287108656692008-08-12T13:56:00.003+01:002008-11-21T00:07:41.796Z

i am mixing my 1960's musical metaphors here, but anyway... i am in the garden, listening to -shelter from the storm- by bob dylan... it is a very beautiful song....it makes me think about love being cosy and warming and helpful and constructive....it makes me think about how there are times in a man's life, and probably a woman's life too, when he has to give in and admit that he lacks, and is

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-37723618904812910102008-08-06T22:13:00.004+01:002008-11-21T00:07:22.515Z

...that was sally's excellent summary of the daily problem that i am encountering, on repeat, day after day... every day is another anniversary - today its three weeks since i was back in gloucester after the trip to the hospital in essex, took up sitting in my garden drinking wine, which is what i have been doing more or less ever since...it is four weeks since i called him and said 'you know

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-9741082444750164632008-08-05T14:20:00.002+01:002008-11-21T00:07:02.279Z

..i know that he did not stop loving me. he didn't have an affair, or walk out on me, or stop picking up the phone to me, or fall out of love with me.this much i know.

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-51168785010466357922008-08-04T03:41:00.004+01:002008-11-21T00:06:22.066Z

to reason why... on the day that it happened, i remembered certain things very clearly that helped me both immediately and on the following days, to make a very clear decision.i remembered how i felt in the months after my uncle died suddenly of no found illness, aged 53. i remembered how i felt seeing ben and louie searching around for answers, even small clues...and so i made the decision then

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-75696373665303992562008-08-02T19:51:00.004+01:002008-11-21T00:05:19.678Z

he did not die because someone driving a car knocked him down he did not have cancer for one, five, ten yearshe was not in pain for more than about five minuteshe did not die from a heroin overdosehe did not take some coke that had been cut with some unknown devilish ingredienthe did not do something feckless like jumping out of a plane or bungy jumpinghe was not shot on the streets of south

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-16708342613598349202008-07-30T19:31:00.002+01:002008-11-21T00:03:50.338Z

if you have never listened to the song -undo- by bjork, here's why you should...(itunes, people, itunes...)"Undo"It's not meant to be a strifeIt's not meant to be a struggle uphillIt's not meant to be a strifeIt's not meant to be a struggle uphillYou're trying too hardSurrenderGive yourself inYou're trying too hardYou're trying too hardIt's not meant to be a strifeIt's not meant to be a struggle

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-25273416670198197552008-07-29T23:27:00.003+01:002008-11-21T00:04:59.580Z

the quietness in my head is unprecedented. i have no thoughts.i cannot fix on any one train of thought.i cannot settle on one perspective or one even vague notion about what the hell is going on.i think maybe if i start writing down what i'm actually feeling, it might become more real.how bloody terrifying is that, though?this is the worst bit now, the flowers and cards will stop coming, i will

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-46410889554648143102008-07-27T02:48:00.005+01:002008-11-21T00:08:39.553Z

...in my hotel room i am trying on my dress for The Thing on monday, for about the twentieth time...its 2.48 in the morning and i would like to simply record this...i miss walking into a room with him. i know its the feeling that phil probably still has when he walks into a room full of people, but he walks in with laura. or like fran has when she walks into a room, with matt...i have never been

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-6964423340081781412008-06-04T22:09:00.004+01:002008-06-04T22:50:19.445+01:00

how ignorant and heartless my previous posts now appear, in the light of this week....its a horrible feeling knowing how wrong you were.....no-one can think thoughts about death and the afterlife and sickness without needing god as much as you need air....least of all me.........its just so baffling....it makes you want to not love so you don't feel the pain of knowing that people you do love

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-62184327149597614232008-05-21T21:45:00.002+01:002008-05-21T22:03:07.897+01:00

i think my post last week was a bit oddi've made the decision to leave it there, but i think it was a bit odd...i did not mean to imply that i no longer need god.....that's just crazy talk.....but i think that what i meant, refers to the dynamics of that need, the impulses and responses that heighten and isolate that need.......these have changed.....i do not right now feel as i felt before, and

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-70697793964694778182008-05-14T22:32:00.003+01:002008-05-14T23:05:13.570+01:00

so, i've never been too hot on theological matters...i pretty much figure - love the lord, be nice to people, explore your surroundings, use your talents, give what you have, and love bravely....what more is there, really...?!thing is, if theology is one's view of god, or the unmovables about god, or the cumulative ideas of 2008(?!) years of deciphering the word, or all of the above, then at the

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-49044620518583273142008-05-11T22:58:00.003+01:002008-05-11T23:22:04.348+01:00

and hello from the sunny west country!so, my new town is as fun and funner than i hoped it would be......there is a cider bar on a boat, a lovely cathedral with a seat in it dedicated to my great-grandparents, a very cute old-town section of the city centre which i had never seen before i arrived, and a general feeling of a city full of all-age working-holidaymakers! i'm not sure if its the

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-68375961924307072502008-04-10T18:38:00.001+01:002008-04-10T18:39:11.876+01:00

to realise that what a i need is a jolly good blog session...this evening shall be dedicated to just that...

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-26774130677791493212008-04-01T13:17:00.000+01:002008-04-01T15:09:13.898+01:00

today, at work...i read a referral form which saidCountry of Origin:- Dominican Republic of Congohonestly!!people need to stay in school, this is disgraceful!!

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-25364081857238408482008-03-18T17:55:00.000Z2008-03-18T16:27:23.524Z

today at work, someone honestly, literally wrote on a referral formCountry of Origin: Stockport

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-57603659027165800722008-03-18T09:36:00.002Z2008-03-18T09:41:00.181Z

"i freakin rocked that cake...well i think...." - cate thornton, on her lime and coconut cake of yesterday...

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-7379636180705347512008-02-25T12:55:00.001Z2008-02-25T12:55:59.653Z

see what percentage of women hate ironing, but do it anyway? all for the love... me, i love ironing!!   j'adore the ons...

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-56856509040013902652008-02-25T11:58:00.001Z2008-02-25T11:58:08.093Z

would you pass? i failed, dismally...  

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-13371976919693454502008-02-21T23:10:00.002Z2008-02-21T23:11:27.268Z

...only 'you split the earth' by delirious will do for my earsit truly is one of the most beautiful songs i have ever heard

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-6727190507314758332008-02-20T12:11:00.002Z2008-02-21T13:06:39.772Z

this is a genuine conversation i just had with someone at my work...me: bbrrr its cold!other person (OP): i'm going to get us all some get chips at lunch-time, that'll warm us all upme: oh, no chips for me thanks, i'm having soupOP: oh, i thought you liked chips, i've seen you eating chips!me: yes, but I'm putting a stop to chip-eatingOP: why, are you going on a diet?me: not exactly, just trying

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-28589063943914706822008-02-18T12:07:00.004Z2008-02-18T13:51:33.591Z

a while ago a friend asked for a list of happy songs, that she could download...i just found it!for your itunes treat-yourself perusal...artist songmorcheebarome wasn't built in a daynitin sahwneypromisebjorkmore to life than thisguillemotsmade up lovesongthe killersmr brightsideget cape, wear cape, flycall me ishmaelthe hipposwasting my lifefeistmushaboomkathryn williamsno-one takes you

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-24278112798630733112008-02-07T13:59:00.000Z2008-02-07T15:08:03.432Z

i had a bit of rage earlieri had to do some pretty fierce negotiating with some people at work, i also got cross about something that made me cross, and i was also feeling harrangued. and frustrated. and a bit caged. and, well, you know....its february....so as lunch time drew near i knew that i needed the air of outside rather than the air of inside.and so i went for a small walk and admired

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-47424443658184698572008-02-06T18:28:00.000Z2008-02-07T15:06:23.712Z

i took this photo shortly before the aformentioned idiocy occurred this evening....as i left work for the walk to town, this was what greeted me...ps: journal update: not sure what's going on, but.....well, maybe in my head, i went too far....maybe the bok is just too nice to write in....?!

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-11773653078912507072008-02-06T17:44:00.000Z2008-02-07T14:07:02.127Z

so today i walked into a doori am the woman who walked into doors.seriously, i was about to go into pop cafe, which i actually don't like all that much because i think its up its bum, but i wanted a nice new/old purse, so i thought i'd chance it.bad idea. literally there was not a sticker, not a sign, not a smear on the full-glass door.......and so how was i to know that before me was a fairly

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-22869519814372692342008-02-05T13:45:00.000Z2008-02-07T16:03:45.316Z

so this morning on the -today- programme they featured a book/a thought/a movement concerning -six word memoirs-it began with hemingway....if you don't know the tale, it is thus:our pal ernesto once made a bet, probably with some other literary, bar-propping-up type, that he could write a story in just six words.-surely not?!- i hear you cry -it can't be done!-well, it was done, and his story was

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-37543727054489985282008-02-04T20:00:00.000Z2008-02-07T16:04:08.215Z

so i bought a new journal todayi spent £15.99 on iti can't possibly justify this amount of money, except to say this: i need the motivation. i bought a paperblanks one, because they are the best (none of this moleskin molery!!) and within the paperblanks range, i bought the most beautiful one available. why? because i need the motivation...am not sure at what point i began to need motivation to

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-55718815968650922482008-01-16T13:53:00.000Z2008-01-17T11:49:53.428Z

in cat's eye, which we read for english a-level, she has this whole theory that we remember through smells...when chez vino a few nights back, i had a cup of chai...i haven't had one since heald place...and before i knew it, as i stood outside their barn door, having a little smoke and enjoying my chai, i was transported, after a split-second of shutting my eyes, to that big, dirty, roomy,

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-10087270122369571452008-01-09T21:50:00.000Z2008-01-09T22:41:03.151Z

so i was given a book for christmas, which i know for a fact sat on a shelf,  a vivid and terrible temptation to the giver, for about six weeks before the day of its giving...for it is a tantalizing prospect...the history of britain in 'impartial' narrative..the impartiality is brought about by the cunning means of sarcasm and childish humour. it really does nearly work! its awesome. the guy

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-29338749332985304342008-01-08T11:02:00.000Z2008-01-08T16:51:43.997Z

what a lovely christmastime i had.possibly my favourite ever....no-one died, no-one had an ambulance to the house on christmas day, no-one argued with anyone, the grandparent unit only stayed for four days in place of the usual two weeks..there was much merriment, much game-playing...alo-o-t of laughing...steam trains, presents and pubs, word-up..........one thing was missing....i didn't do my

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-55995306700956633492007-11-15T13:49:00.000Z2007-11-15T14:01:29.122Z

some might say soand i am one of themits the christmas markets as of today, people, and i am so excited. five pm today, watch me, i'm gone, down that oldham road, across town and then i shall delve into the christmassy, cosy, colourfully-lit wonderland of albert square...the smells and the laughing and the -I WANT THAT-s and the -ooooooh look at that brooch!just looks it it!-s and the bratwurst

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-86926305325251873662007-11-02T13:56:00.000Z2007-11-02T15:43:27.513Z

tonight i am going here (the cafe rene, gloucester..)to drink some of this:(several pints of draught weston's stowford press...west country in a glass..)and hang out with the (bear, the...lovely) and then tomorrow, joy of joys, we are going here: (westonbirt arboretum...in autumn...with a lovely man...also with nick+ang...day of fun....followed by fireworks at the docks in

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-51388242798823659012007-10-24T13:07:00.000+01:002007-11-12T11:01:22.982Z

so right now the leaves are giving up on the trees. they're falling away, and leaving the tree behind..they gotta go...and they go so beautifully. there really wasn't any need for god to make it so, was there?

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-27689081376509288672007-10-15T13:38:00.000+01:002007-11-12T09:47:56.685Z

LOOK!!!!!

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5473009.post-53434649907875015152007-10-11T12:27:00.000+01:002007-10-11T14:42:24.378+01:00

steve is going to be here tomorrow.can you believe it?!ok these are some of the things i like about himhe is funny. in a way that i'm not sure other people find funny but in a way that i certainly find funny.he has the greyest of grey eyes which i had never thought to be a good thing but am now converted.he is very kind and thoughtful. not in a make-you-a-card girl way, just in a thoughtful-boy

nahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14027359441218982324noreply@blogger.com3