the qualifiers..

i feel i should explain some of the things that i recently said have been blowing my mind..so here it is..
1, was the book the pursuit of god by aw tozer....this guy basically earned the right to criticise the established church, and so does it effectively powerfully and graciously. he earned this right by remaining within it, even when the spirit within him found it hard - limitations, leadership issues, etc, and by the sheer amount of hours he put in before the throne of god. he knew the longing of god to communicate one-on-one with his children. he recognised that the institution of church disallowed this, by spoon-feeding the word to people, and by convincing them that chasing after god meant getting 'carried away', which obviously our stade and mature society does not see as a good thing. i love to read this book because he is unreserved in his criticism, and yet one knows that he writes nothing without having recieved permission from god. i love to hear that there have been groups, even in this last century of machines war and darkness, of people who have chased god on an individual as weel as corporate level. this i believe is where things start to really work. the body starts to function sincerely and lovingly within the world. and its good for me to be reminded that we are far from being the first ones to have tried this.

2,umm....oh yeah, the movie elephant..whoever you are you should probably go see this movie. i felt entirely defeated when i left the cinema, but i guess its one of those essential movies - these kind of movies are mostly never seen as essential, because they carry a sort of responsibility with them. this film made the high school in it seem like it could have been any high school in the world. the school itself did nothing to warrant the massacre that it experienced. but the sort of pathetically insignificant bullying and teasing and malice that are some people's everyday experience of school do happen everywhere. and no kid in the world would find it impossible to get hold of a gun. somehow, i guess it could be done, whatever country, whatever that country's laws concerning guns. there's a lot of them about. in terms of colours and shade and lighting and trees and gracefulness i haven't seen such a beautiful bit of film in a long time.

3,ah yes....this has been an idea that has attempted to permeate my brain at times in the last few months.i don't believe it. let that be rightly understood. i refuse to believe it. last saturday when i blogged it i guess even as an isolated concept it was blowing my head. the thought that if had never known grace i almost certainly would believe it.but there is still a difference between not believing it, and knowing how to proceed with this disbelief. ok, this is my stuff now, i'm sure sense to anyone else has been lost by this point!

4, oh the joys of consigning one's past to the nonexistant archives of heaven. mmm...still pretty new for me. alot has to change in the mind that remains, so that that past can be left there as irretrievable. (sp.?)i guess it can only really happen when an real miracle occurs. i know that i feel different here, in this house of my childhood. i talked to my mum last night about praying with irene last week. she digs it. bless the lord.

5,yeah nelly f....what a gem.

6, one life, one country..still none the wiser about that one..guess its staing under wraps for a while. i think i'll know what i'm in ireland in august. maybe not. but the more i tell people my plan of leaving the north and mooching around for a whioe and then going to spain next january, the more it seems like the best plan ever.

7, well,i would write out the poem i wrote about these most beauty-full of flowers, but alas it is on a wall in a certain house a couple of hundred miles away. another day i will i promise
that's all folks