the march family is altogether again

the most successful (possibly the only successful) overseas travel venture that any of my parents' children has yet undertaken came to an end on thursday. and what a st patrick's day was had by one and all including a very tired fiona who we kept staring at and poking to make sure she was real.
so we've got her back, and i'm so glad.
things are much as ever, other than that
i mainly spend my days waiting for the next episode of the oc, and trying to maintain my cover as a christian. its not going very well. no, the oc is, its brilliant, but as for the other thing...not so much. its odd how certain things make sense in the context of specific people and places. outside of those perimeters, the all-consuming take on christianity that i theoretically profess doesn't somehow fit.
no, i'm not having a crisis.
i am having a couple of questions. and this time, i'm choosing not to bypass them.
is it really more than just loving people and hoping for the world to change, and doing within ones own capabilities and aspirations whatever one can do see that change come about? is it really any more than loving your family, seeking out friends and living life with them, and knowing that god is real and also good. do i really need to stand up, in front of him, or anyone, and say i'm doing this. i'm doing this for him and can you all commission me and pray for me everyday so that it works? i believe god is the one who makes things work. he makes things make sense. and makes life move along at his pace.
is he really happy for me to use him as my route to an exciting life?
excitement is inescapably subjective and individually found.
how many of us would end up doing the exciting things we want to do in life if we weren't christians? wouldn't we have wanted to do them anyway?
how many of those activities and travels are really bringing god out of people?
and isn't that the whole point?
once more ladies and gentlemen, answers on a postcard...