narrowing the odds..

gosh look at the time.
i went out this evening, to crackers, which on a saturday night is like the shire's answer to jilly's rock world..
i love that place, no one gives a shit about what anyone thinks of them, which, round here is worse than a rarity. and people laugh, alot, and shout along with music that to most other people sounds just like people shouting..
i went with my sister and two friends..and we laughed, drank and danced
i saw some boys that were dear friends of mine at school..
and a boy was there, who last time i was there, months ago, i found myself with a big crush on and he liked me too and it was this whole thing
anyway i watched him tonight, dancing..i love watching boys dance...and with this guy, exuberant doesn't even get there..but unlike most energetic boy-dancers, he's good at it too..
and it was lost on me
i think i've learnt alot of things lately about what i desire in a man...and that guy there tonight used to embody it, but now..not so much
its being known, you see..fully known..and not just for who you are once you let out the girl within on a saturday night, but who you are when you can't sleep, and when your clothes don't fit like you want them to, and when you cry at the freakin oc, or at god because all of a sudden you remember how wonderful he is, and when you can get giddy about someone else's sunglasses..
i mean really, is there anything finer than a life of knowing god and being known by another..?
that's what i want...
so if any man can love god and simultaneously understand me and follow the guidelines found within annabegins and princes familiar then i'll know i'm somewhere close to it..