shire fridays..

are for me unlike any other friday.
i was granted an honorary slacker-seat at the post-work, friday evening drinks table.
the boy was also back from his holidays, tanned and taller than ever.
i haven't really blogged about him before. but then for months there hasn't been anything to say. last night he kind of said it all though, and was honest and i liked hearing it. i'm not swept off my feet but, well, i guess you could say it was one of those times when it makes being a girl worth it.
he is on the blog rounds now because he seems to be a nice conclusion in a bit of a quest that god seems to have forced me to go on lately.
its a tricky conclusion though, and one that will finish the intrigue that has been na+luke for the last couple of years.
there's just something about being valued for your brain as well as your boobs. and something about not being viewed as some kind of part-time emotional retard. and something about being admired. its not about crushes anymore. this about years of wondering if this could work.
the truth is i know its still not going to.
so what is it with me and boys at the moment...?
its like i'm having some kind of mid-life crisis. hdc says its all about narrowing the odds. (see prev. post of same title). allegedly what is happening is a refining of the idea of him. that its ok to like someone apart from one or two things, and then to realise that, for you, they are indeferable things, that you don't want to go without. with this one, its jesus.
you could say (if you were emma) that the boy is not a follower of the way.
my new word, indeferable, pretty much applies here.
as much as i can at times kid myself into thinking that i could make that work with someone, it just means that god would have little or nothing to do with it. and i love jesus for how he loves to be in our love.
if you know what i mean.
so in effect i am answering all my own questions here. well done me.
there have been others, who meet the jesus criteria, but who don't make as much sense to me as this boy does.
see...?
swings and roundabouts
pain in my ass