forays..

I have had my five portions of fruit and vegetables today for sure.
I love days when that happens.
Started my day with a kiwi, a banana and apple.
Smug smug smug.
So I went to work and didn’t enjoy most of the day at all as there are now three of us doing the work and its all complex and I am not competitive enough to snatch it as it comes in, so I ended up with pretty much nothing all day. Bizarre woman who has taken over the office must go.
Or I must go, find gainful employment elsewhere. Talking to john last night made me glad again to realise that being overwhelmed by potential ideas for work and hopes and stuff isn’t something I have the monopoly on. Its such a confusing thing to see so many things around you that you would love to see change, and to have no idea where you play your part in it. I should probably also add into that whole scene, the things that I just would love to do, that aren’t at all to do with changing the world but are small wee dreams that I keep in my pocket, like being a make-up artist and a hairdresser. I thought tonight though, what a wonderful thing, to be not tied, not set on a course, yet to have ideas, however castle-in-the-air-like they may seem. Living here, where potential and possibility are two fairly contraband substances, it feels oddly defiant to maintain the pipe dreams, update and review them, and let god in on them. I get in such a pickle when I try and pin down one idea of what to do, it must make him laugh I think, but I know he is building in me one thing at a time, all working towards work that will be in turn working towards the working out of me and him. And the ultimate working out of his own pipe dreams…what a thought heh..the very pipe dreams of god.
Wonderous.
Tim came round this evening, I think he had heard about the bake-off yesterday and wanted to see what remained. His inquisition brought him the last and biggest share of coffee cake and lots of tea. It brought me his tales from the temple, which as I kept asking him to describe it, I got such a picture of it in my head I could almost smell the place. See I know he loves jesus, and I’m glad, but I can kind of see why his field trips to these strange and unknown places are making him wonder..we talked about how other ways of living and expressing faith seem to have a way better concept of and respect for the scared, the holy, the mighty aspects of god. We in living rooms and without much regard for rules have, I’ve been thinking lately, perhaps taken the buddy jesus thing a bit too far and lost the fear somewhat. Maybe just me. Weird though heh..tim told me a book I should read. I love it when conversations with tim end at the point when he’s succeeded in recommending a you a book on the subject in question, and therefore feels he can do no more for you.