more grace, less speed..

i suck at my job today.
i realise that sitting here spending all of four minutes doesn't improve that fact, but its true and i wanted to say it.
when people push me, like want more than we are usually prepared to offer in the line of furniture, clothes, food, whatever, the general wisdom is that there is no general wisdom, no rules, no regulations, you go with what that person needs and what their individually dire circumstances happen to be that day.
what i have realised today is that probably over the last three months or so, i have back-pedalled from that in my head, to thoughts of, no, you'll have what you're given, or things similarly awful.
i am horrified at myself for my reluctance to be nice.
i feel constantly that people are taking the piss out of us, out of me, and i hear myself saying no alot more than i hear anyone else saying it.
its probably a necessary stage in the learning how to deal with the poor crash course i stupidly signed myself up for by taking on this job, but i just wish for this afternoon that i could be nice again.