oh lord..

..the complexities of life in a frequently too-close-for-normality group of 23 year old single people!
holy mother
matt says we should start being more open on these pages of nosiness than we have been to-date. particularly concerning the inner-workings of friendships between boys and girls, the lines around and inside of which have never been more blurred, en masse, than during the last few months. i quite agree. i didn't think it would be me that started it though.
...... .....................
and do you know what? i wrote and i wrote, about a certain situation between two certian people that i love dearly. and some about me. and i chickened out. erased it all.

we can't rewind

the theoretical protester....

see, tomorrow, in mind, spirit, heart, i'm in london
in theory, that is..
however, due to lack of funds i cannot go in person.
in practise, that is..
why? why do i persist in having no money whatsoever?
i realise this is a theme in my life. a motif, if you will, in the poem of my existance..

scrap it, god, think of a new theme. change the record..x

where to re-begin?

after consulting with my younger and infinitely wiser sister as to how and where i should re-begin my regular blogging, she has advised me to commence with talking about a certain song, by a certain band. i have been assured the name of this band is well known among many who would mock the ridiculousness of the church, mostly in america. they are in the slightly-comedy category of all crap music stores across the pond (oh? never used that phrase before..?!) they are definitely early-teen, try-hard ska-punk bacnd, but who i am reliably informed have always been so, even before the recent resurgence in said form of (usually) slightly ghastly music, which has historically drawn the line between me and mr furtado's commonality of taste.
ladies and gentlemen, the band are.....five iron frenzy.
the song (should you still be reading) is dandelions.
the song makes me happier than mr jones has ever managed to. it has toppled return of the space cowboy off its treasured and long-standing number-one spot in the song-that-makes-na-most-inexplicably-happy chart, and has indeed raised my expectations of american (particularly christian) songwriting beyond all possible recounting of votes.
ok, reasons why i like it so much are as follows...
1: it is a christian band, singing a song about love and grace and things like that, that does not attempt in ANY WAY to incorporate bible verses into the lyrics
2: it is punk(ish, esque..) christian music....the two concepts have never been thought of in the same sentence in the christian music industry of this country.
3: it is childish. its primarily about a kid who thinks dandelions are flowers, and brings them, running, to his mum for a present. the angst and philosophy of most music in my collection seems dank, turgid (hope you're reading this phil) and moribund in comparison. its innocent. isn't that what we all secretly want?
4 is has the line "lord search my heart. create in me something clean."
5: its about flowers.
6: its about choosing how to look at things. having grace as a filter on the back of your eyes.
7: its not too long
ok, scraping the barrel now.....
seriously though, whatever way you know how, get it.
over and out..piona, wubboo

una urgencia..

oh gracious..well, its been a while...not really in the mood for this right now, but i have a feeling in me which seems worthy of note. its an urge, i think. perhaps a feeling of being propelled, like things are speeding up.
what things, you may ask? well, healing, i think mainly. the time is coming, and has now come, to open myself to god, as the great lady has it "like a bowl, like a flower, like a wound". i'm pretty sure i haven't been hiding from him. but equally i can admit that i haven't been chasing him. truth is, i can't be arsed. or haven't been, anyway.
i know that i need words of truth. the profound, the searching questions, and the ambiguous notions of grace are no longer adequate. i have lived off these things for so long.
the times they are a-changing.
so,as much as the people i love and respect can give, in the true-word-dispensing category, i am now willing to ask for them, listen up, pay attention and duly act.
so bring it on, truth-speakers. and come on, truth-giver, now's your chance....i'm all ears