that i would be good..

So I’m in my room, I’ve got my playlist for my quiet time, starting at lets see..0110 hours..well done na.
I wish this was direct blogging but unfortunately I have no internet to call my own. Problem with blogging then posting at a later time, even if it is only tomorrow morning, is the risk that it will never get as far as the internet café but will stay safe here with me.
Ok so where were we, yes..today’s Things That Are True
I have realised I am a bitch. This lady at my work, I really dislike her, and she me. This scenario has nothing to do with jesus and what he has done for me and who he asks me in response to try with him to be. Its just been about being horrid. I’ve more or less despised her since we met on Tuesday. She has done very little to warrant this other than be dreadfully common, coarse, loud and have awful annunciation. None of these things are, I think, conscious or chosen, its just who she is and that’s fine. But I haven’t let it be fine and I in turn have been snappy with her and not shown her kindness or respect at all really. So I finished my week at work today walking to the pub, ready for a beer and glad that I was beginning a whole weekend of days pottering around and seeing people who do not provoke such unsolicited snobbery and meanness from me. But she will still be there on Monday and since my victorious I-survived-the-week beer at 1605 hours today, I have realised that I would very much like Monday to see a few changes in my attitude towards the lady. Or The Monster as most of the people in the office call her. I want to see her differently…but its hard when she’s one of those people that if she were in a cartoon the flowers would wither as she walked past.
Today, Oswald was basically saying that we’re not saved because we repented, but saved because of what jesus did on the cross. He says we put too much emphasis on the effects of the part we play in our salvation instead of just letting ourselves be affected by what has already been done for us. I was relieved to hear this idea on my cigarette break today, because if it were down to me to, as ms “dale” would say, get my shit together, then with all the shit I’ve figured out this week that needs to be got together, I’d sure be too busy to work…and work is so good for me. I may be finding the dark, early grey mornings rather hard, but I am starting to see that if the narrow gate means the path of most resistance then I guess that’s where we get to learn about how to be more like him, and that means learning to love the lady and learning to concentrate and work hard and still be alive somehow at the same time. Its just a lot to think about isn’t it…?!weekend now though….time to read..