continuity flaw..

well my doves, i feel it is time that, for the sake of continuity and for the purposes of my children being able to use this baby to make a tidy sum from my posthumously published memoirs, i ought really to conclude the valentine tale....

it has ended, and with not a little cry, and with a great bundle of lessons learned, joys anticipated, self risked and insanity considered, i may now own that i am set to move on.

i enjoyed the experience immensely, it gave a small spark on the odd rainy morning, and a wry grin at the reality of my own foolishness on drunken evenings when i'd come home and still find myself wondering about...him...

i need wonder no more, for it is not to be.

and would i undo it? take it back? reverse all that has been versed? maid non, pas du tout...je ne regrette rien..

who said that? somebody famous...

my loves, here's the thing: i have won as they call it at the MOD the battle for hearts and minds...i have won, over my own mind, set in fear and self-doubt. and i have triumphed in the game of risk, where all i had to place as my bet was the small bit of my heart that it took to see it through.

i win
ok i jesus wins too. he really does. and he deserves to..deserves a medal for putting up with me, and my endless questions, my laughing at his silly notions, and never seeming to fully trust what he's up to there in the background...

and yet...he waits for me to catch on, do the math and put the pieces together, enough now to see that its not my time. not today
xxx