or so i thought..

i surprise myself lately

on an increasingly frequent basis, i find myself leaving crowds, or even small gaggles of friends, in favour of my apartment and the quiet.
who on earth knew?!
how could i, the most middle of all middle-children, turn out to not be the extreme extrovert but to in fact now crave time alone, my sofa, my pottering, my journalling, my west wing, my dinners cooked by me and for me and eaten just by me?
also how could i be revisiting the idea of working in governance or highly professional and competitive and powerful organisational structures again, when i love the small, individualised, non-suit-wearing aspects of my current work?

this is how:
my two huighest scoring results:
ISTJ 62%
ISFJ 63%

i'm not enfp at all!

i'd never done the test to come up with enfp, but i'd just always assumed i was an extrovert, that i was feeling and impulsive and emotional and perceptive, and therefore, an enfp

i'm not saying i'm converted to the life of an istj, but i do find it fascinating that i can have at least partially have been so wrong about myself!

when you consider that insecurity, in its more inherent and extreme forms, either drives people to absolute all-out attention-seeking, or it drives people into their inner cave where facing people isn't an option, i have to therefore conclude that having never given time to the idea of spending time alone, and always having been to frightened of silence, and all the damage it can allow in one's head, i ran toward people, toward their attention and time and affirmation. i still need and want those things, but since moving to my beautiful apartment, i have discovered that time spent alone is valuable, life-giving, and frankly quite lovely...

am scared i like it too much now! come get me out of my cave, people! (don't really, i like it..)

i still feel pretty convinced than i am way more of an n that i am an s...

i guess i shouldn't be so sure...