so the first rule is..

Just found myself falling asleep during fight club
Damn this 9 to 5 gig, its left me too tired even for tyler.
For the parts of it that I was awake, though, I saw it totally differently from every other time. I wasn’t oohing and aahhing at the sparks of profundity like before. I guess I was trying to watch it without having heard preachers preach the messages within it, like they confirmed the correctness of their faith.
I mean, after all, the guy with the wisdom, and the mind deep as a well, and the most attractive walk in the world, is fictional. Not only is he a character in a film, but in the film he’s not even real. He is merely the product of years of another man’s insomnia. Nothing more. A figment. Not of someone’s active imagination, but of his subconscious’ desire to be like himself, but more. Like himself, but fitter, happier, more productive.
But I just didn’t find it as clever is I once did. The fact the you never know the dude’s name even annoyed me tonight. I felt robbed. Cheated. Like someone couldn’t be arsed.

I think I feel like that just now, because when my own creativity is limited, and lidded, I find other people’s creations frustrating. I want to adapt them, recreate them. Because with me its always the initial quiz of knowing what to create that scuppers me. Once I’ve got that decided, I’m good to go, but the conception stage is hardest.

I wonder if the use of human fat in the making of the soap was part of the story triggered in the writer’s mind by his having read generation x…?it just reminded me of the dogs in the book, and how they’d go the clinic and root out the bags of rancid ming and feast away.

Bothered.

Today I had a new thought, to do with the Big Plan. I’m going to think about it for another day or two. My new thought is that maybe I can miraculously have the cash I need by September to do the course I actually want to do, now that the door has been firmly shut on the option of doing the second-choice course that I had been planning for the last while to do. I know, I know, I’m ranting now. But imagine…..i say right god, today I apply for this thing. By the day it starts, three months from now, you either provide some fairly serious funds, or I take the hint for good.

Ooh, trof for breakfast tomorrow…some of my favourite people….and finally…Saturday…