starbucks breakfast and blogging..at my desk..

granola bars are good, is my conclusion..
its the way they make you feel, man...all healthy and smug..
there's no way you could have a brownie or bit of rocky road with you misto for breakfast and feel this good about yourself.
ok have now finished both eating and one-handed typing
so harry potter six came and went...
i was done in a few days, and then cried..and cried..still don't believe its true.
ok, also i've..ooh watched pirates of the caribbean for the first time..whatever is meant to be wrong with jonny depp in that film, he plays it so well, i've never seen him funny really before...horribly attractive as ever...at one point with him and orlando bloom fighting it was all i could do to keep on looking at the screen, too much beauty at once can be overwhelming..
y, que mas...?
went to london..saw friends..felt funny...not quite at home
and now decisions must be made, about august, about september, about greenbelt and dublin and devon and santiago and manchester....and i just want someone else to decide for me...i frankly can't be bothered...but i know i'lll regret it come mid-september if wherever i am, i haven't actively chosen to be there...ie, if i just end up still being here, or if i just end up in manchester with an ill-thought-through plan and an ill-fitting job...
i need to work now..more in a minute..

a strange thing, when at last it happens..

i don't quite know what to say. i really don't want to exaggerate, it is, after all, a good thing..
but i feel odd..i've just sent my article off to the magazine....and now i feel a bit ill..! such exposure...
anyway i haven't all that much more to say on the matter, i just felt i should share..and also to thank sal, my editor-in-cheif...

narrowing the odds..

gosh look at the time.
i went out this evening, to crackers, which on a saturday night is like the shire's answer to jilly's rock world..
i love that place, no one gives a shit about what anyone thinks of them, which, round here is worse than a rarity. and people laugh, alot, and shout along with music that to most other people sounds just like people shouting..
i went with my sister and two friends..and we laughed, drank and danced
i saw some boys that were dear friends of mine at school..
and a boy was there, who last time i was there, months ago, i found myself with a big crush on and he liked me too and it was this whole thing
anyway i watched him tonight, dancing..i love watching boys dance...and with this guy, exuberant doesn't even get there..but unlike most energetic boy-dancers, he's good at it too..
and it was lost on me
i think i've learnt alot of things lately about what i desire in a man...and that guy there tonight used to embody it, but now..not so much
its being known, you see..fully known..and not just for who you are once you let out the girl within on a saturday night, but who you are when you can't sleep, and when your clothes don't fit like you want them to, and when you cry at the freakin oc, or at god because all of a sudden you remember how wonderful he is, and when you can get giddy about someone else's sunglasses..
i mean really, is there anything finer than a life of knowing god and being known by another..?
that's what i want...
so if any man can love god and simultaneously understand me and follow the guidelines found within annabegins and princes familiar then i'll know i'm somewhere close to it..

i've liked this guy for ages, and i now can confirm, that if i could write like anyone, i'd want to write like him
such powers of description and gifted storytelling
and what a story..

on behalf of the shire..

london, we love you...

nightmare..

man, trying to track down breaking news isn't as easy as you'd think
the tube seems to be a bit under siege
can't believe it, or how awful it would be to be in there
the national grid says there have been no power cuts or surges this morning, so the authorities have already been rumbled on that one
my lord, quelle nightmare..

challenge anita..

hey did you know, the maximum numbers of posts blogger will allow you in any given day, is 999....
this is my third, and that's already my personal best..
i wonder if anyone has ever done 999 and then been vetoed from further blogging until they jolly well went to bed and waited til tomorrow...
imagine..!

self-raising expectations..

contrived
affected
absurd
unnatural
dull
impersonal
cliched
predictable
uninquisitive
unoriginal
uninspiring
unanswerable
hard work
crap
can you guess what it is yet...?
that's right, folks, it s a job application form
why oh why are they all the same....!??
i started completing the form, typing away, thinking i'll go for it anyway, and try and make it to the post..then i lost all my typing
sometimes, i guess you just have to know when to quit!

i have a sensation that my next job, hopefully in manchester, is going to be really quite different (perhaps even better...?!) than the jobs i've had in the past...so today's contender wouldn't have really fit that bill anyway..
time to learn how not not just settle for the easy, dull ways of life..

i wonder how one goes about that...
i wonder how one goes about dreaming the dreams of god...?
answers on a postcard, s'il vous plait, mes amis..

a veces, la vida es mala..

which is wierd, because i guess i don't believe that life, by itself, can be cruel..but times like right now, you can't help but wonder who is..

i just found a great job...working for shelter, in manchester

the deadline is one pm tomorrow. in london.

the only way i can get it there on time is to sit at my desk all afternoon filling the form in and probably get yelled at by my boss when he catches me...
and then ask if i can leave early tonight to make it to the post office.
and then find some money on the path on the way to the post office, since i have none of my own right now and it will cost to get it there by one pm tomorrow.

see, la vida es malissima.

sod a dog........................................

five-sixteen and counting..

i am almost literally crawling my way to the end of this working day
being on reception in the afternoons sucks..you get to watch everyone else leave before you...really, everyone..
its taken me two days of this week so far to figure out that working with katie was the best thing about working here. and she's gone - after we agreed we'd leave on the same day! and then she did and i didn't...
its because i'm not brave, and i'm scared of going back to not having money.
well, something has simply got to be done..
manchester beckons, and i can't safely say it'll be no sooner than september...just need to find a job..
any ideas anyone?
wierd thing is, i sound like i'm miserable, and i'm not...or sure won't be in.......one minute!!
hurrah!
see you pals...x

the faithful dressed in white..

making poverty history is a seriously good passtime
as a hobby, i think it has lots of levels. extreme making poverty history took place in edinburgh en masse this saturday afternoon.
the splendour of seeing more people than you would ever sit and count wearing any old white clothes they owned, (or making them specially, you know..) was something i won't forget easily.
we had no bob, no bono, no bush no blair
eddie was there. as were some oddly chosen bands such as "who's this again..i recognise this" "texas" "oh of course" it was like that.
apparently merry or pippin was there too.
there was a big dress.
some riot police.
a march.
lots of kids.
yellow cranes.
too many whistles.
lots of placards kindly donated by the mirror...who's signature white writing on red background was hastily torn off every placard they had kindly donated..everywhere you went you could see their sponsorship scattered round..
hellicopters.
no drunk people.
some lovely old people.
lots of palestinian flags.
drumming.
always someone from the group missing.
lots of white sash plastic ribbon stuff that made everyone look like miss world.
and other measurements as well.
you will be hearing more about the matter from me, here

can you smell it...?!

there's something in the air....its anticipation i think, and the battle of cynicism vs idealism raging stronger than on most ordinary days..
i'm referring of course to the weekend that lies ahead, and the subsequent potential drama of just eight people sitting in a room for a few days talking about the poor countries of the world as if they were underacheiving schoolchidren.
i've been trying to figure out how that must feel..to be the premier of a small, poor but striving nation in the developing world..knowing that they are talking about you, weighing up the various merits and perils of giving you money that would save the lives of your citizens..but all the while looking at you and determining how far gone into seedy corruption you are..or maybe daydreaming about how corruptable you could be if you had something they wanted..imagine being talked about that way...
its rage isn't it..?